Media

One of my favorite movies of all time is "African Queen" starring Katherine Hepburn and Humphry Bogart. Little did I know, when I first saw the movie, that Katherine Hepburn was Spencer Tracy's mistress for many years. Or that her brother killed himself while playing "make believe" with Katherine when they were young because they felt it was so real. Or that she didn't talk for months after his death, and her only escape was finding that make believe world once again in acting. Of course, all this really doesn't make me love her movies any more or less. I adore her art form, and although her life is intriguing, I enjoy her for what she presents on screen.
Thinking back to that time, there was not near the amount of paparazzi to capture all this gossip from her life that there would be now. Many actors' lives were kept much more private. What mattered was who they were on the screen and how beautiful they made life appear. While letting all guard down on stage and film, pouring their emotion into their fake lives, they could live less vulnerably off set, without being barraged by innumerable cameras.
Oh, how things have changed.
I had always thought that it was a "normal" happening for actors to be attacked by the media at all times. Because it is so rampant, I merely thought it was part of daily life for most actors, yet fifty years ago, this was not the case! There weren't 100 rag magazines telling you lies about every Hollywood marriage that was failing. It simply wasn't done.
Then it hit me. This is a sick addiction we have. We are obsessed with the people we know nothing about. How could this go on? We love the art people create, the stories they tell. Their faces are what we see. The characters they become entice us. They are beautiful, charismatic, and often brilliant. Yet, They are artists, not showcases. Why can't we embrace the stories they tell, and leave their lives a mystery? Must the author be read as much as the book?

a rift, a raft

Do you ever feel like an Island? You are just one person unable to touch those around you?

Or are you more of a raft afloat at sea, trying desperately to run aground, but you can't reach the islands because all they know how to do is be alone?

I wish things didn't have to be either way.

Are we all islands to somebody?

This upcoming school year, I will be going to school and doing things that are really completely new to me. Nothing will be the same. That might sound like an exaggeration, but it's not. I'm changing schools, the people I see most are graduating, and my schedule will be greatly altered. I never thought I would really be afraid of something new. I try new things all the time. I love new experiences! And so far, I have fought my way into new places with ease (to some degree), yet I'm still scared. As Keane says "Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same."
I have lived in the same house, gone to the same school, attended and worked at the same church my entire life. Major change has never come my way. Now, it is waiting at my doorstep, and I am constantly in knots over the future.
Through all this, I feel like everything around me is untouchable. I can't grasp on to the people and places I know. I am a raft, and oh, how I wish I weren't at sea, chasing the white whale.
Stagnant waters are dangerous. You can't drink from them, and the only things that grow from them are bacteria and fungus. We all must head into the current, dive deep, and avoid the rocks and eddies along the way. We all must take on our challenges.
I hope I'm a strong raft.

That Face

When I decide to paint somebody, I always look for the face that says who they are. I often times watch people specifically to find that one look, whether it is disgust, curiosity, or just a quirky smile. Besides tone, temperature, and overall makeup of a painting, I try to bring that person to life in the picture (Well, obviously). In a way, I want their personality to scream out of the painting.
I find it easier to see these "character faces" with older people. Maybe it is because they themselves already have an idea of who they are. Maybe it is because they have more lines.
This was just one of those faces.
Comical. Oblivious. A bit Sad.
Perfect.

I did this painting last year. I didn't get to spend much time on it, so I would like to do it again someday.

Black and White

Today, I finally felt like spring was nearly here. I know we have another month left, and green foliage has not yet completely invaded our landscape, or even crept into view beyond our evergreens, but I could feel it coming on. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. It was warm.
In the northwest, we rarely get a real winter. It rains through most of the winter months and everything stays green for the most part, but this year, we were lucky enough to experience a white winter, if only for a few weeks. The drawing I've done was inspired by the biggest pine tree located near my house. It's black and white. You could say that besides having the appearance of winter, it is representing winter. People who live in this season see only in black and white. There is a symbolic "noir" type of theme, as Answer.com defines as "tough, cynical, and bleak." Winter is dark. One quarter of the year may be black and white and non-negotiable, like certain issues of doctrine and morals, yet there are three other seasons full of color and diversity! There is always a new way to experience creativity, friends, jobs, and life in general. Things cannot be black and white. Sometimes, color beyond the grey areas must be embraced.
Winter is a blanketed season, and whether by clouds, snow, or ice, detail is covered by winter and color is left by the wayside. In that, Spring and Winter fear each other for what they are. Winter's walls are melted by the coming of spring, yet the power of Winter closes in on Spring, giving it no room to breath or create.
Even so, a year is made up of four seasons, and it takes all types of people to bring growth and renewal to the world. With the coming of a new time comes a promise of new thoughts and a new light.
Now, I implore you, brace the Spring time, remember the Winter, but give people room to breath in what may be held lightly.

A Post for All Parties. Politics: Love/Hate

I haven't said much about my politics, but I do not feel I should share the party I have chosen over this media as of yet. Ask me in person, and I will gladly tell you how I feel.
We all have different views on things, and goodness knows, we are all wrong in one way or another. Let's face it. Not one of us has all the answers, and none of us should. It seems that it is better to be proved wrong in a group of friends, than alone and always right. A person should always be open to the fact that he is not perfect, but neither is anyone else.
In politics, I have noticed an incredibly immovable, closed minded attitude in almost anyone you talk to, besides those who "don't care" (which is really their way of not getting into conflict. They probably care). The reason is, I think, is because the government is directly related to all of us. We all feel what our government does, whether they hire our family members to fix roads, or they take our homes and land, whether they give us money and food to live, or they tax us 50% of our income. We all like to think it's all about us. The things the government does should be all for and about us, right? We the people!
Yet, do we have to be malicious? I have heard people say they "hate" a certain politician. What in the World? They literally "hate" people they have never met and all they have heard about a certain person is what the media puts out, and they deliberately slander that person in public. I may not agree with certain people, but I would never say I hated them. "Out of the heart, the mouth speaks" and hate is a strong word. Whether it be Sarah Palin, Joe Biden, or Al Franken, let ours words not carry us away. We don't hate these people. We may disagree with them. We may think they are "stupid" as we so indignantly say. But I've heard the phrase "I hate Bush." too many times for comfort.
I was raised with the fact that to "hate" means to "want to kill." It's a vile term.

We should love instead. Love is stronger, and Justice, in a way, is Love as Law being carried out. Because our Founding Fathers loved the American people around them, they established democracy, rules, law enforcement, and courts. They wanted their people to be safe, and because of the morals they stood by, they believed the people would be kept safe. Because the Lord loved us first, He gave us free will, Fellowship with Him, and the His commandments, so that we may be safe on this sin filled world.
Now, sadly, everyone is wrong about something. Certain things which are truly wrong, are not "wrong" to other people. In their point of view, nothing is wrong which is not a crime. This is a skewed view. Most will admit, Lying is wrong. Cheating is wrong. Stealing is wrong. Murder is wrong. But what about Jealousy, Bitterness, Hate, Sex outside of Marriage? The Bible says we shouldn't have any of that, either! Those things are what trap many of us.
Nobody is perfect (besides Jesus). No actress, teacher, Mom, Dad, or politician ever was or will be. We all deserve to be hated. We all say stupid things. No one is completely right.
During the next four years, and the rest of our lives, let us all keep open minds and hearts to the possibilities of people and the future. Pray for our Leaders. Pray for Our Friends, Pray for our hearts.
Don't Hate.
Love.
The Lord has us in His hands.

Adventure

The picture is of my new backpack. Sweet, huh?

I took a trip to Bainbridge Island last weekend to visit my good friend Mary. It was such a glorious weekend. There is something about being close to water that stirs my heart. I believe it's in my blood, coming all the way from the vikings, of course. Although rivers and lakes are just fine, something about being close to a sea voyage creates a feeling inside of me. The smell of the air. The waves. The constant clarity of weather and wind. It's like adventure is always going to happen.
I think it always does.
It's amazing what creates a lust for adventure. One small trip just makes me want to go farther and deeper into the unknown. Even getting a new bag makes me want to pack for trips and take it around with me all the time, just in case I get swept up. If I had to go on a great journey right this moment, could my bag take me there and back again? I like to think so.
And what would I need?

My skinny metal Bible
Another book of some sort... maybe two
My pencils and sketchpad
My favorite Starbucks Tumbler with golden deer and filigree as the print.
A knife. Always.
A journal I write in, so I will have something fantastic to read on the train.
An Ipod. A little modern, but a necessity.
A guitar. I couldn't get along without that.

Really, I think I would be okay with just that, but it's missing something.....
Oh ya,
People I love.
They won't fit in my bag.

I often wish I could just get up and go. I want to start walking, and only stop when I can go no further. This is a romanticized freedom that airs of the 60's, I know. I do know. Not much good came of it in many cases, but who doesn't want the freedom and adventure? Sadly, out of adventure and experience, lack of foundation and friendship would whither the soul.
It is no good to see something beautiful if there is no one to see it with.
It is no good to be alone.

Jonathan: the Lone Ranger

I was reading my Bible recently, specifically 1 Samuel 14. This chapter begins with Jonathan bringing his armor bearer to peer over at the Philistines. After looking over and having a little tet-ta-tet with the Philistines and the Lord, he basically says "Let's hunt some Orc!" He and his armor bearer, going alone into the Philistine garrison, begin to take men out by the dozen! All because the Lord had given them to him. There was great confusion in the camp, and sooner or later the Israelite scouts got the drift that a fight was going down, and Jonathan was wailing on everybody!
"So the Lord saved Israel that day,"- 1Samuel 14:23

This Passage tells me two things about Jonathan:
1. He was an awesome swordsman. obviously.
2. He was in good fellowship with the Lord, unlike his Father at the time. He knew that the Philistines could be taken since he had the Lord right there to make the attack.

Thinking on David, Jonathan always just seemed like the best friend, the co-star, the Heather Burns to Sandra Bullock and Meg Ryan. Equal, yet less important to the story. But here! You get to see that he was the Hero, the voice of reason and man of power at one point.

In these cases, I like to identify myself with the one who fought the armies alone. Through our lives, we will have to listen to the Lord to battle our armies alone, meaning we will need to be in constant communion with the Lord. Jonathan knew what the Lord wanted, and he pulled it off because he had God to back him up. Well, guess what, so do we! A good battle makes things more interesting, let's get out and fight!